Personal

On burnout and recovery

I suspect for a fair number burnout is something that they believe happens to others. People with less fulfilling jobs, people who don’t love their work, people in poorly managed companies. Other people.

i certainly didn’t consider myself at risk for burnout. I loved my work, I had a great manager prior to moving to consulting and was pretty much my own manager afterwards. I had a hobby (or 5), practiced a sport, took time to play games and relax. At risk? Never!

At least that’s what I thought until sometime around May last year when I realised I had absolutely no enthusiasm for anything related to IT. Blogging was a chore, books held no interest and many a day I opened management studio intending to do some development or investigation and then several hours later I’d close it without a line of code having being written.

The biggest mistake (I think) was in how I handled it. Instead of taking a break (and work was quiet around that time so I could), I took on more commitments, thinking that it would help motivate. Exceptional DBA Awards. SSC Articles. Tech-Ed presentations. PASS Summit presentations. SQL Exams. Hell I even started discussing and planning to write a book.

Bad idea.

Far from acting as motivation, the long list of things to do just made things worse. Far worse. I now had hard deadlines, people chasing me and still no motivation or enthusiasm. Naturally everything came to a head at the worst possible time and place – the PASS summit in Seattle that year. It’s really hard to write and deliver speeches, prep and deliver presentations and generally act friendly and enthusiastic when the only thing that you want to do is get on the next flight and go home. Fortunately I think only a couple of people noticed.

It’s only in the last couple of months (October/November 2010) that the enthusiasm for writing, blogging, researching (and in fact anything other than sitting and watching the world go by) has partially returned. Is the burnout past? No, definitely not, I still have days (weeks) where I can’t summon the enthusiasm to care, but it is getting better.

But this isn’t just a post on history or a poor attempt at sympathy. The point is how I handled it (badly). Looking back, what I should have done was

  • Take a break (work was quiet at the time). Not a weekend crashed in front of the TV, but a proper break – out of town for a week or so.
  • Get some help from friends, rather than pushing them away and pretending everything was fine.
  • Try a new technology rather than piling on SQL stuff. WCF, Ruby, F#, anything as long as it was different.

I’m far from qualified to offer advice on this issue, but I would suggest to anyone feeling the same way, don’t ignore it, don’t try to work through it and don’t hide it. Few problems go away by themselves, burnout certainly doesn’t.

Genetic Algorithms

Warning. This post has absolutely nothing to do with SQL Server.

What are Genetic Algorithms?

Genetic algorithms are a form of evolutionary computation, a branch of artificial intelligence that focuses on evolving effective or optimal solutions to difficult problems, based on the biological theory of evolution.

Genetic algorithms are, at their core, a search/optimisation technique. They are a way of finding maximum/minimum solutions to problems and, can be effective when there is no algorithmic solution to the problem. An example here would be the ‘Travelling Salesman’ problem.

Genetic algorithms work by taking an initial population of potential solutions (referred to as individuals), selecting a subset of the population that has the highest fitness then using that subset to generate a second generation. From the second generation again a subset with the highest fitness is selected and used to generate a third generation. This repeats until either the ‘fittest’ individual is considered a good enough solution, or until a certain number of generations have passed.

There are advantage to using genetic algorithms to solve problems over more traditional methods like hill climbing.

  • Genetic algorithms can quickly produce good solutions though they may take a lot of time to find the best solution. This is a benefit when the problem is such that the absolute best solution is not necessary, just one that is ‘good enough’
  • They are not susceptible to getting trapped by local maxima.
  • They do not work on the entire search space one potential solution at a time, but rather work on populations of potential solutions, focusing towards more optimal areas of the search space.

A genetic algorithm will almost always find an optimal solution, given enough time. The main downside is that they may take a lot of time to find that optimal solution.

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Stepping down

Sunday saw the last game (for now) of the d20 Modern campaign I’m running. I’m going to miss DMing, but it was for the best. I’m struggling with a bit of burnout and a lack of free time.

The campaign went quite well. The players seemed to enjoy it and that’s the only real measure of any importance. We didn’t get quite as far as I had hoped, but a lot of hints and clues were dropped during the various adventures and I think that all the players have a better idea of the ‘big picture’. They’ve also managed to disrupt the big bad guy’s plans often enough to be irritating.

For the next few months at least, we’ll be playing high-fantasy D&D as we return to the world of Per-rune. Currently our characters are about to disembark ship after a rather exciting trip to the Elven kingdom. All we need is to do some shopping for winter gear and then head inland back to the small town of Kurat, where the whole thing started. Easy, right?

Birthday musings

Another year gone, another year older. It’s been an interesting year.

Professionally, I’m very happy with the past year. I’ve achieved several goals, got to know some interesting people in the SQL community and, of course, started this blog. I’ve also made some fairly important decisions about the future.

Academically, I’m not so happy. My masters thesis is behind where it should be. (a fact I’m sure my supervisor would agree with.) Most of the initial reading is done and I know what I need to do. I need to sit down and get busy. This is going to have to take a higher priority in the next few months.

On more personal matters, a good friend moved up to JHB. It’s very good to see her again. The roleplaying campaign is going well and from the feedback I’ve been having, the players are all enjoying themselves.

Overall, it’s been a good year. Here’s to the next one.

On a haunted house

The second session of the haunted house adventure went down far better than I could have ever hoped. In fact, the players asked to stay late so that they could finish it, they were having so much fun.

They survived the haunted house and uncovered the reason behind all the strange occurrences. they couldn’t prevent a thug from making off with the knife that had been the focus of all the strange events, but that’s fine. It adds possibilities for the future.

Everyone was enthusiastic, interested and most importantly, involved in the story. I’m still on a bit of a buzz from the game and I’m very psyched for the campaign.

Next up, depending on the players, either investigating the happenings at the cathedral, visiting a museum exhibit, or attending the cultural festival.

Back in the GM chair

This last sunday saw me taking back the GM chair for the group that I play with. For the past year we’ve been playing my friend Phillip’s Per-rune game. (details and an in-character journal on my web site)

My campaign is a modern day supernatural game, a bit like Buffy, but darker. It’s set in the historical city of Oxford, in England, in the year 2002. More details are available on the campaign web site. The pages aren’t finished, there’s a lot of links that go no where.

All in all, the game went off without a hitch. Lots of admin-type stuff to start, reminders of clues, shopping, etc, etc but less than I expected.

Now let’s see if the characters can unravel the mysteries of a haunted house, and if they can survive to tell the tale.

I’ll probably comment here occationally on on significant bits of the campaign as they happen.